It’s a battle that’s been longer-going than I-phone vs. android, longer than Justin Bieber vs. One Direction, and longer even then Pepsi vs. Cola. This legendary battle that we speak of, is that between the piano and the keyboard. In today’s post, we will conduct the ultimate showdown between our two mighty competitors, and in the end we shall crown the one and only winner and have our answer once and for all—who is best? But first, let’s meet our competitors.
Towering in on the left side is the Mighty-Grand Grand Piano!
And on the right, though smaller in stature but with no fewer tricks up its sleeve, Keyboardzilla!
Each competitor will be judged and rated based on a grueling set of criteria, including appearance, tricks, range, ability and more. At the end of each round, a winner shall be determined, and it will accumulate a point that will allow it to crush its opponent with more ease in the final tally. Are we ready? Good. Let’s begin!!
Round 1: Appearance
We all enjoy claiming that we are not superficial, and that it’s not what’s on the outside that counts, but what’s on the inside. But who are we kidding really? Everyone knows deep down inside that appearance plays a pretty darn big role in determining just how we’ll judge something. So let’s turn to our competitors and judge them by their cover, and not by what they have on the inside. The grand piano is undoubtedly a very striking image to behold, with its elevated wing and sleek black shininess, it radiates grandeur and class. The keyboard, on the other hand, is on a much smaller scale and lacks the flashy impressiveness of the piano. It basically looks like a kids’ toy that was blown up by an engorger. Why are we even continuing the comparison? This round has been decided before it even started.
Winner: The Piano
Round 2: Tricks
Everyone likes being surprised, experiencing something new, and trying something that’s never been tried before. That’s why this round is all about the tricks. Granted, a piano can do some mighty fine tricks of its own (we’re talking to you, sustain pedal), but unfortunately for the amateur pianists most of these tricks only become directly accessible when you have some sort of skill. In stark contrast, the keyboard is the magician of musical instruments, and anyone can access its secrets. Ever wanted to know what Fur Elise sounds like on a foghorn? Well, wonder no more if a keyboard is at hand. Are you lazy and just want to play the chorus once but have it repeat infinitely? The keyboard has got you covered for that too. Basically, you get the gist, and we’ve picked this round’s winner.
Winner: The Keyboard
Round 3: Portability
The ultimate portable piano
You’ve just learned how to play Mozart’s 23th concerto and you’re eager to play it for your elderly grandma. Problem is, your grandma does not have a piano and that means bummer for you. The keyboard was basically created to answer the problem of the piano’s portability. More durable and lightweight, it can be lugged around like a guitar and even be unceremoniously thrown in the trunk of your car. Simply put, the piano can’t. It looks like we’re going to have to call it, this round’s winner is… but wait! The piano is not going down without a fight! It has just pulled the plug on the keyboard! Ingenious move! The keyboard now sits powerless, useless and completely vulnerable. Basically, if there is no power source, there is no keyboard. Looks like we can kiss goodbye to those bonfire keyboard jam sessions. The piano on the other hand, can sometimes get down and dirty. Ah forget it, this round’s a tie.
Winner: A tie
Round 4: Purchasing & Maintenance Budget, aka Cost
This round is pretty simple to determine. Got a buck to spare? Buy a keyboard. Got a couple thousand bucks to spare? Buy a piano. Yes, the piano is not the financially advisable instrument to buy if you’re in a phase. If you buy a piano, you buy it for the long-haul, till death do you part. Keyboards, on the other hand, come and go like friends. They are interchangeable, and they are replaceable. If you have a broken keyboard you simply buy a new one. If you have a broken piano we advise you to go find your wallet and a nearby ATM. Also, keyboards essentially stay in tune forever, whereas an un-tuned piano is about as pleasant to the senses as an un-fresh tuna. We think you get the point.
Winner: The Keyboard
Round 5: Size of keys
Got a fat thumb? We know, it’s not your fault. The keyboard however, doesn’t care and doesn’t want to accommodate you. With its small, thin keys, keyboards partake in a kind of natural selection of who can and can’t play them. And you, my fat-fingered friend, are not one of the chosen ones. That’s where pianos come into the picture. Pianos love you no matter the size of your fingers, and they even care about you enough to give you an extra finger-workout with weighted keys. We here at OnlinePianist are all for acceptance and tolerance, and therefore this round has been won by the piano.
Winner: The Piano
Round 6: Keyboard Range
Showoff.
A piano has 88 notes, which range from A0 to C8. Of course, many keyboards can be found in this size, but smaller ranges such as 61 or 76 keys are common, more cost-friendly alternatives. Looking at numbers alone, the piano is squashing its competition here. After-all, it’s a well known fact that one of the more fun activities to do with your musical friend is to play all the keys as fast as possible in ascending or descending order. Therefore, if you’re seeking to really make it a worthy challenge, as this article is all about, the piano is the clear choice.
Winner: The Piano
Round 7: Ability to express emotion
It’s come down to this. The score is practically tied, and the fate of the whole competition rests on this final round, the ability to express emotion. How do you express emotion with the keyboard? Well, you have a few options. You can pick the violin sound to make your keyboard sound less like a piano and more like a howling she-wolf, which is sure to dampen an eye or two. You can also roll down the volume knob for those sad heart-string tugging moments, and raise the volume for the dramatic and epic climatic song portions. How does the piano fare in comparison? Well it’s putting up a fight that’s for sure! The piano’s answer in regards to expressing emotion is simply the answer to life itself- love (we’re sorry). When you want to express emotion on a piano you do not use flashy effects or pyrotechnics, you just have to feel the music and it will show. When you’re angry, you hit the keys harder and produce a stronger sound, when you’re sensitive, a lighter touch will provide a softer pitch. It all rests on your hands and what you feel. So what’s the final call? Robotics vs. human emotions? Well, since we’ve recently rewatched I-Robot, we’ll be extra wary in our pick and give the round to… the piano!
Winner: The Piano
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It’s time for the final tally. The score stands at: Piano- 5, Keyboard- 3. Drum roll please………….. And the winner is:
The Piano!!!
*Sniff* I’d like to thank my tuner, Yamaha and OnlinePianist.com and and… Don’t you shush me in the middle of my glory speech with “exit music”! I make the exit music!
But really now, we’re called OnlinePianist.com, not OnlineKeyboard.com, did you really expect any other outcome? 🙂
So readers, do you agree with the outcome? Sound off in the comments below!
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